So Confused...

I don't know alot. In fact i would say i know very little. And it's times like these I wish i knew it all.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do with my life. I have come to the point where I loath school. I don't want to get up in the morning because that means I'm going to school. I'm still not completely sure what I want to be so I feel like the classes I'm in are just a way to keep me busy.

I would love to take a break from school... take a semester off and work, think about what i would want to become and not rush into this blind (which i feel like i am.) I don't know how God has gifted me (or if He has...) I don't know what kind of job I would enjoy (not where I would wake up and not want to because that meant i was going to work... like school...) I don't want to, and i don't believe i could live my life with a job i hated... although i know many people have before me... I've learned the last few weeks that God doesn't need us... so he doesn't always provide for our needs or keep us happy just to make us love him... if i believe in him he will point me in the right direction ( but so often i wish he wouldn't just hint at the right direction i wish he would place a massive flashing neon sign in my front yard saying "Rachel, this is the job I have found for you!")

I am physically and emotionally worn down right now. as i sit here i'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open. So the whole taking a break sounds so appealing.

I would like some input...